march 2006

18/03/2006

we finally chose the name for the baby "Ben" ,

the hospital allow me to come and visited you, your aunty and uncleand dad came to visit too,as i cry seeing you try to be strong but i couldn't be strong, there was wires connect on you ,all i think was how could someting so small go throu this,

19/03/

you seem to be a lot better their have taken the oxygen tube and breathing a lot better , , i got to stay at the hospital so i can be close to you , until the baby is 7 days old, it was like and hotel room so roomy,

my milk seem to be building up heaps

20/03/

putting you in and lclet (hotbox) you have also been taken off antibiotics but you seem to be doing really good, their started to feed you in your gastronomy tube 2 mls and you seem to be tolerating really good, it was the time when the cyclone Larry went to Queensland poor Farmer you save what you could have save, on the banana

*****************meaning of BEN******************************************

ben ( hebrew)

son of the right hand , also dimintive of Benjamin,Bennie,Benny,Benson.

**************************************************************************

21/03

your feeds where 2 mls now their 3.5ml today , you where given a premature dummy , you started to look like you brother , i got to give you a wash down in your iclet it was the first since you where born i got to wash you , ,dad brought you an number plate with your named on it.,their taken out from the iclet to a normal cot a bright yellow cot, the surgeon came in and talk to us it will be 2/3 months before they think about doing your operation, cant believed it going take that long,

22/03

i got to hold for 6 hours for lot of cuddle, i felt the bond that i miss , their move your volume 3.5ml -5 ml , your tolerating it really well , you cry when you got close to your feeds. i brought you a dream catcher so it can catch you bad dream away , and i also brought a balloon saying' i love you' , and a guardian angle to watch over you, i also went home to-day , but i express alot of milk for you , when i got home that went reality really hit home not having you here was really hurting inside , i was given a pamlet from the hospital about OARA, OUT OF 1 OF 3,000 pregnancy there is a case like yours.

23/03

we are so happy to see you i.v free ( means no needle in your hand,) i have started to bring you some clothes, Claire finally got to hold you ,she said will be a good little helper .wow

24/03**********your a week old*************************************

dad and i came to visited you but you were asleep ,your feed are now to 14 mls and you are tolerating it really well , Erick is so fascinate with the surrounding and he can even said your name,"Ben".while the nurse held a syringe in your gastronomy tube so the milk can go down on your tummy while you went to sleep

"good night sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite"

25/03

your now eight day old you where weight today 2.4kg had we came in today you got to meet one of your cousin , we can visited you all day and all night, when i was there you won't open your eyes but when your with your dad, you would open them for him,cheeky you

26/03

it Sunday and the time is 03:24am and i can't sleep . i have been thinking of you , Ben when your not here i must will be strong,you were weight 2.5 kg you have nearly put on 100 grams since you being born, your feeds are now 28 mls every two hours instead of hourly, your aunty Paulette and friend Helen came to visited

27/03

our dad came to visited you and he try to wake you up but you would wake up, they are thinking of transferring you to monash till he had he surgery and then transfer back to the children, we were told it might be 4-6 weeks before their do your operation still a long wait, i the only way i could stay in sane was to take it day by day and the day that i waiting for will be soon, if only if it was soon enough,

28/03

you seem to be doing really well tonight you got to meet your cousin Ryan would is 3 and half older then you, i hope they do you operation soon cause it break my heart to see unwell,

*if i was to wait to 39 week what would the difference be would you have been a bit bigger, *would you have to wait that long,? we can only sit and wait

29/03

today you were meant to be born , but you where born on the 17/03

your weight is now 2.4 kg you put on 59 gram , mum had a headache so mum couldnt stay to long, i promise i be there to give you cuddles,

30/03

i came in to see my prince but my prince was fast asleep, good night

31/03

march is almost over ,as your eyes were open , you must have know that we are arriving ,, i got to feed you your dinner in your gastronomy tube, and then you had gone to sleep (hush) tomorrow their would me to come in and do you gastronomy dressing so mum can get practise for when you come home she would be a pro at it,i wish i had a magic wand to make my wish come true